I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You left your phone here
Wait...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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