If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
