yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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