Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
