It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
