I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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