one two three fourrrrnication!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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