Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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