I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize