He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
