Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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