I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
