Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
