What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
