I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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