She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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