She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
