Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
