And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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