in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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