You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
