I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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