Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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