party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
