you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
