im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Randomize
