so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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