im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
