dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
