The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
