I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
