He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
