Dual....:-)
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize