I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
