I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
