Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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