Jerry, you need to find god
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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