Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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