Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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