Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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