..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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