giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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