We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
