I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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