tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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