I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
