yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
