Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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