so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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