Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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