you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
