Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So here I am, sexting at work.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize