bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize