fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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