Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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