weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just gargled with NyQuil
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
