Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
