Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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