I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Houston, we have a squirter
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
