It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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