What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
