my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
time to smoke my breakfast
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
ttyl tear gas
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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