hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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