I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
