You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Randomize
