People in love make me want to vomit
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Everything about him screamed your future.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
