this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
