She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Randomize
