i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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